“I’m taking my divorce all the way to trial!”
Or, why I want to burn up my savings, my kids’ college funds, and any hope of family harmony to help our lawyers buy new BMWs.
Of course your spouse is a jerk. That’s why you’re getting divorced. That’s also why you are so emotionally raw and looking for revenge. You just know that if you burn him/her through months or years of motion hearings, discovery, depositions, child custody evaluations, and a knock-down, drag-out trial, the judge will stand up at the end, point the gavel at your ex, and declare that he or she has all the blame in the divorce.
I’m not being flip here – after litigating and mediating hundreds of divorces, I know how wrenching it all can be. But if this is the only path you can see forward to a post-divorce life, then mediation is not going to work for you. Even though a judge will never stand up and rain down fire and fury on your ex, you are too determined to cause pain to your ex to let finances or future family harmony get in the way of your revenge.
Do I expect divorcing couples to agree on anything when they come to mediation? Of course not – you need mediation because you need help in making the decisions to create your post-divorce lives. But I do expect that couples who mediate their divorces are putting their children’s well-being and futures, as well as their own financial and emotional security, first. Even if each spouse thinks the other has horns growing out of his/her head.
Work with me to create a mediated plan for your post-divorce lives, and you are much more likely to end up financially sound, and able to sit in the same room as your ex for your child’s piano recital, once the divorce is over.