Divorce

We can’t stand even being in the same room!

Why mediation can work for even the most acrimonious situations

One reason divorcing couples choose to fight a divorce out in court, rather than mediate it together, is that they just can’t stand the idea of sitting next to each other in a room when they are so emotionally destroyed by the divorce. They seem to feel protected by their attorneys, the courtroom staff, and the formal plaintiff and defendant tables in a courtroom.

But that way lies more time, more money, and more resentment between you by the time you get divorced.

I can assure you, even many highly-acrimonious couples can make decisions in mediation even though they really don’t like each other at the time.

Take a recent mediation I did for “Paul” and “Jennifer.” After years of growing apart, Jennifer had cheated on Paul and was now living with the new flame. Speaking of flames, Paul wanted Jennifer to go down in flames if he had anything to do with it!

When they walked into my office, they purposefully moved their chairs as far away from each other as possible. The tension between them was so thick – I knew I had a challenge ahead of me!

It was slow-going, with frequent pauses for Paul and Jennifer to collect themselves, or to briefly speak with me alone. I had to muster many tools in my mediation arsenal to keep them focused and moving forward, while also respecting each partner’s need to let the other one know what he/she thought.

But we did it! By the end of several sessions, we had created a plan for separating themselves financially, and we also had a parenting plan in place for their kids. They were divorced within weeks.

I’m not saying mediation is right for 100% of couples. But it does work for most, when you can be confident our mediation experience is targeted to helping you reach real solutions, rather than leaving it to the courts to make decisions for you over the course of years and many dollars.

Heck, we can even do it over Zoom videoconferencing if you just can’t handle being in the same room together!

Contact us today to get started!

 

 

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